1 Nephi 2:1-4 - In the Wilderness...

1 Nephi 2:1-4

For behold, it came to pass that the Lord spake unto my father, yes, even in a dream, and said unto him: Blessed art thou Lehi, because of the things which thou hast done; and because thou hast been faithful and declared unto this people the things which I commanded thee, behold, they seek to take away thy life.

And it came to pass that the Lord commanded my father, even in a dream, that he should take his family and depart into the wilderness.  

And it came to pass that he was obedient unto the word of the Lord, wherefore he did as the Lord commanded him.  

And it came to pass that he departed into the wilderness.  and he left his house, and the land of his inheritance, and his gold, and his silver, and his precious things, and took nothing with him, save it were his family, and provisions, and tents, and departed into the wilderness.  

I am so grateful for the opportunity to use the scriptures as a guide for my life.  I am grateful that my life unfolds in the scriptures.  I so needed this message yesterday (Wednesday, September 4) because I've been struggling with being here in Raleigh.  I Loved it when I first got here but now I miss CT A LOT!  And that's totally weird to me because I feel I have nothing and no one there.

It's little things like all the swearing I hear.  It. is. EVERYWHERE!  People cuss while talking in their normal tones of voice (without whispering) in the library.  On the basketball court, in the park, where little children are.  On the streets...  When people talk to me because it is such a part of their vocabulary...  I don't have to endure that in Connecticut.

I also don't have to witness the daily self-destructive habits of my brothers and sisters.  Here it is in my face EVERY single day.  In Connecticut I don't have to deal with men fawning all over me.  I've come to really be bothered by that because I don't want to be on anyone's pedestal.  It's not a compliment to me.  Above all things I want these men to Love God, not me...and they don't!  I can see it in the lust in their eyes and in their worshipful natures.  UGH!

So I was commanded to leave the land of my inheritance, Vernon, CT, because people were seeking my life, just like Lehi.  I know why.  It was for the same reasons Lehi had to bounce.  People don't want to repent or face the sins they allow to persist in their lives.  Now, they weren't trying to physically kill me...well...not al of them, maybe just one or two I can think of...but what it was is my spirit was dying there.  Love is a powerful tool for healing and that is why I am here.  I've got Love here but my spirit is being attacked in other ways now.  The difference is this time it's not personal so it's not as bad and I can recover more easily.  I imagine that's one of the reasons why I am here.

I know I am here on purpose.  I had permission and the transportation to come...door-to-door.  I left everything behind and took only the provisions I was directed to bring so...here I am.  Now what?  That is my question.  All I know is I can stop struggling with my doubts about being here so long and why I haven't earned the money I thought I was here to gain.  I can focus on my faith, as I receive another confirmation that I am in the right place.  I am here because of my obedience.  Now I just need to position myself to do the right thing by focusing on my faith in God and His purpose for my life, not my own.

I'm where I'm supposed to be.  It's a wilderness experience for me, even though it's familiar territory.  I'm a different person from the last time I was here so this feels new.  BUT God's got me.  This I know.  He REALLY does.  I Love that Man.  This is the additional confirmation that I've been seeking and He delivered.  I have my provisions and my family to.  Hassim is always with me, in my heart.  He is as much a part of this experience as if he were actually here with me.  It's time to be as Lehi and just give praise.  It's time to take things a little bit higher.  Time to go to the next level.  I'm deepening the depth of my soul while increasing the height of my flight and it feels good.

Thank You Father.  Whatever it is You have for me to do I'm willing.  I submit with patience and Love to follow this path You have me on.  Let me meat be Your will.  Let me feast on it until that is my only sustenance.  I Love You and thank You for trusting me and Loving me the way You do.  It is such an honor.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Originally written Thursday, September 5, 2013