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Aloha! I am Kara Lynn “Kai” Sanders. I am originally from Heaven. I know I am a daughter of God and am directed by Him to do His work according to His purposes. I am humbled by that realization. Anyone who asks knows I consider myself just a visitor here (to earth) and am just trying to make my way back Home, to my heavenly Home. I was born in Connecticut and lived there for many years before moving to Hawaii. I tell people I was raised in Hawaii because that is where I was “raised” to a new level of knowledge about God, about myself and about the world around me. It is where I started to become a child who would “serve the world.” After four and a half years of tutelage I returned to Connecticut for about six months. I ended up stranded in North Carolina en route to visit a friend in the Georgia prison system. It apparently was where I needed to be because I officially “grew up” to where God needs me to be to do what He needs me to do.

Friday, September 6, 2013

1 Nephi 1:18-20 - Tender Mercies

1 Nephi 1:18-20

Therefore, I would that ye should know, that after the Lord had shown so many marvelous things unto my father, Lahi, yea, concerning the destruction of Jerusalem, behold he went forth among the people, and began to prophesy and to declare unto them concerning the things when he had both seen and heard.

And it came to pass that the Jews did mock him because of the things which he testified of them; for he truly testified of their wickedness and their abominations; and he testified that the things which he saw and heard, and also the things which he read in the book, manifested plainly of the coming of a Messiah, and also the redemption of the world.

And when the Jews heard these things they were angry with him; yea, even as with the prophets of old, whom they had cast out, and stoned, and slain; and they also sought his life, that they might take it away.  But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whim he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance.

I am grateful the Lord Loves me enough to remind me that he's got me when I'm struggling.  This is one of those moments.  ...I've been wondering what I've done wrong or what I'm doing wrong for things to feel so askew in my life right now.  I feel like I'm saying what I should say and doing what I should do without success, at least no tin tangible ways I can see.  It's discouraging.  When I first read these verses yesterday it made me think of K**** and D*** and others who don't believe or trust me, even as they say they do.  Those two in particular went on to persecute me when I corrected them even though I was offering them information on how to deepen their relationship with their Savior.  A relationship they both knew they were personally lacking.  Lehi went through the exact same thing...this is how you know people know they are wrong.

You're telling them about the potential for both good and evil.  But see people want to grasp the good feelings of living the good life believing they can live any kind of way and still lay hold  of it which means they are discounting their own evil.  When they do that they are mad at those who point it out, to the point of wanting to destroy the messenger.  K****, D***, T*****, T******, M*****,...Jersusalem.  Oh the people I could name...but really it comes back to Jerusalem.  Whether the individuals I could name or the people of the city, they are one in the same.  In the end, without repentance, they WILL perish.  That is not my prophesy, that is the word of God throughout time and in all ages.

I am so impressed by this story because once Lehi had the message he. was. on. it.  He did and said what he had to do.  Do I do that?  Am I doing that?

He brought the messages of salvation and destruction at the same time.  Which one do I hear?  Which one and I living up to?  Am I comfortable doing the same? 

The people were angry with the prophecies.  What is my reaction to my sin being revealed?  Do I respond like the Anti-Nephi-Lehis or the Ammonites?  How do I feel about my destruction being prophesied?  Am I truly repentant so I can lay claim to the Atonement, the whole purpose the Messiah came for?  Will I be among the redeemed?

There are two "characters" Nephi speaks of in these verses.  Lehi is one.  Jerusalem is the other.  Which one...who do I relate to most?  I've been in both roles.  In fact any wickedness in me causes me to be like Jerusalem if I'm doing nothing to repent.  I am trying to be more like Lehi:
* Rejoicing over God's power, goodness and mercy;
* Stepping out in faith to divulge the word of God to those I am called to minister to.

I have been and still am in too many ways rejected, stoned and cast out.  Attempts have been made to slay me, spiritually.  But I'm still here.  I'm still standing.  God's infinite tender mercies constantly deliver me and I know they will continue to...for me and for those I am called to serve and serve with.

Father, I just want to do Your work and be about Your business.  Qualify me according to the word of Your Son in D&C 4.  Help me to stay focused on my faith.  And please continue to deliver me from persecution to the safety and comfort of Your Son.  I pray to make this aspect of my journey another steppingstone even though it feels like a stumbling block.  I know You've got me.  I continue to claim that and Love you for it (among all the other things You do for me and simply for being God alone).  I pray for focus to be on my faith so that I may be mighty as Jesus in doing Thy will Father.  I pray to be more like Christ and less like me.  And I claim this in the sacred name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Originally written Wednesday, 9/4/2013

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